This is the truth which I will LIVE by this year. It is the truth that will determine my actions each minute of each hour of each day. Well... that's the goal. I have got to get it in my thick skull that I I I I I I am responsible for my choices. And the choices I make today will determine every future moment. At age 40, I am fat because I've CHOSEN to be. No, I haven't conscientiously said "I choose to be fat. I enjoy myself this way". But with every choice I make to put something into my body that will cause me to stay the same or grow larger, I AM essentially choosing to be fat. Choosing to be thin would require different choices. So this year, I will choose differently. And next year at this time, I can say "I am EXACTLY where I've CHOSEN to be" with pride and a smile! Right now, I say those words with complete regret.
I did something crazy yesterday. I entered the 4th Annual Eat-Clean Diet Makeover Challenge. I took pictures (again) of my fat, rippled, overhanging body in a BIKINI. And this time, I sent them to TOTAL strangers to look (laugh!) at. I sent my measurements and made a promise to do my best to WIN! What would winning me to me? It would mean that I worked hard. It would mean that finally stuck to my plan. It would mean that I could be truly proud of myself. It would mean that my family would be proud of me. It would mean that I kept my promise. I bet that would feel pretty darn amazing!
My 40th year QUEST started out great! (These things always do!) I was a good girl for a whole 6 weeks! I lost 10 lbs. And then there was Thanksgiving. And Christmas. And New Years. It wasn't a total disaster, though. Days were good. Nights and weekends... not so much. So I begin again. :) And again....and again. As many times as it takes!